Define Your Dream

It's No Big Thing...It's Just EVERYTHING!

What if?  Have you ever played that game with yourself?  I know I have...alot.  The would've/should've/could've game, too, right?  Has it helped you move forward, or has it held you back?  

Looking to our past can give us some clarity now that we have gone through it and are on the other side.  It is certainly helpful to see things with 20/20 hindsight.  But that can only take us so far. In fact, it usually doesn't help promote growth.  It usually hinders us by reminding us of our failings or shortcomings.  With that mindset, we tend to shrink back and not pull the trigger to try new things.

I've been on a self-discovery phase for some time now.  While trying to drill down to the essence of who I am and what makes me happy, I've also had to look back -- but only for a short bit of time.  I don't want to get stuck there!  When I found out I was having my second child, we made a family decision for me to quit working outside the home and to stay home to raise our children.  That was a dream of mine, and so I jumped at the opportunity and within a few weeks found myself a new title of "stay at home mom".  The transition wasn't as easy as I'd hoped for.  Quickly, I needed new dreams and goals.  While discovering what those new desires and purposes were, my life starting to unfold.  Through ups and downs, struggles and achievements, my hopes and wishes turned into many new adventures and realities in the years to come.  Getting to be the most integral part of my childrens' lives, keeping a home my husband was proud of, welcoming old and new friends and family while using my gift to entertain came into full swing.  Accomplishing these new ambitions of mine has been very rewarding and humbling.  

Fast forward to today, which is about 14 years from when I left the work world, and I'm finding myself a little lost again.  My kids don't need me in the same ways; in fact, some days they act like they don't need me at all -- much to my chagrin.  I can check off quite a hefty list of accomplishments.  That makes my heart fell very full knowing that I haven't lost the ability to do what I set out to do.  

As I look toward what's ahead, I hear the questions start all over:  What I am to do now?  What skill set have I always relied on to give me satisfaction in my work?  Have I developed a knack for anything new?  Have I honed my abilities over the years giving way to fresh proficiency?  Can I marry any past expertise with my new and future goals?  And the final question which is a BIG one, one that almost everyone has asked themselves:  What is my true calling?  

Here are a few steps that I encourage you to take, as I did, to discover yourself again, and answer some of those nagging questions.  Take the time, now if you can, to sit down and go through this activity.  Look at it like training for your dreams to come true!  Let's get started!

• Define your dream by asking "What would I do if money were no object?".  Don't look at this question as if you already are wealthy and don't need the money, but rather if you didn't get paid, what would you still want to do anyway.
• Write YOUR story.  Be as forthright, honest, transparent, eloquent, descriptive, and kind to yourself as you can possibly be.  List your best attributes and put them down in black and white.  Keep it positive!  This is YOUR time to shine so make you be the best you can through written word.
• Now, reread what you've written.  The whole thing.  I reread mine aloud to myself and that helped me actually 'hear' it not just think it or see it.  That act made it more real to me.  As you reread, tweak, delete, refine, and add, do your best to make it insightful and true to you.  Take careful note of your reaction to what you've written -- did you have a physical or emotional reaction like crying or smiling or feel your heart race with excitement and anticipation?  How did seeing your dreams written out make you feel?
• Leave it alone for a day or so.  Come back to it at a later time and refine once again.  Reflect on this whole experience and all that you have penned.  When you have crafted a vision true to your deepest desire, pin it somewhere for future inspiration.  It will help keep you focused on what's to come.
• Part 2 of this exercise is to now come up with all the things you know to be true but you don't want to admit -- not to your best friend, and maybe not even to yourself.  Ask yourself what you are resisting or hiding from?  It gets real here, people.  Kind of like therapy but better because it's private and it's just you and the paper at this point.
• When you look over that list, ask yourself "Why don't I get to have these things?".  What's holding you back.  Feelings and emotions may seem real, but they are actually self-talk and can be lies of demolition to your dreams and your soul.  Let's expose them and deal with them properly once and for all.  
• Set your intentions and tell someone.  When you do this, it may be an act of faith to trust someone with that personal information, so choose wisely.  They will help keep you in check and hopefully ask about any progress you're making along the way.  You want to be candid and they need to be trustworthy.
• Plan goals to get you toward your dream.  Three major goals per week, set them on Monday.  Tuesday, find three small goals to make you sense accomplishment quickly and boost your self esteem.  Notice when you work best -- what time of day.  Call it your power hours and work during those as much as you can.  You'll find yourself more powerful and accomplished during those times.  At the end of the week, give yourself 20 minutes to reflect -- what worked, what didn't, what got done, what needs tweeking, what should you leave behind and try again?
• Ask for help!  Everyone likes to feel needed.  Remember a time when you were asked for help and how that made you feel.  Let someone else shine in your life and you get the benefit of support.  If it makes you feel vulnerable, realize that you are offering something no one else can in the way you can, and it's not about to get taken from you.  We can draw strength from others and be better for it!
• Say, "Yes!!" to yourself.  Yes, you CAN do this.  Yes, it's going to happen.  Yes, you have support. Yes, yes, yes!  Remember the purpose is for YOU to live YOUR dream.  Use discernment to recall why you're doing this in the first place.  Tune in to the intuition you had about what you wanted to do. 

** Relish that you are aligned with your passion and true calling; contributing something meaningful to the world. **

I wish you a world of opportunities ahead that promote you toward living your dream and being BEYOND BLESSED!

Who Really Knows

How Well Do You Know Yourself?

You're blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God.  You're blesssed when you follow his directions.

Psalm 119:1-2 (The Message)

There are so many self-help books, blogs, articles, internet sites, not to mention all the people in our lives, that all try to guide us this way and that.  Have you looked into any of these sources?  Chances are you probably have; so have I.  Have you found any of them truly helpful in your search into your inner-self?  If you are like me, you may have found nuggets here and there, but maybe nothing that really helps you make a fundamental change.  

Have you experienced any shifts in yourself, let's say, since your childhood or high school days?  Surely you have evolved, transformed, even morphed into someone different today than "back then".  I know I have.  I have learned alot about life.  Have there been experiences you were reticent to try?  Or has it been an easy transition for change?  Experiences have help switch my perception of the world around me.  Involvement in new endeavors has opened up a window into parts of life, and parts of me, I didn't know existed.  Time gives us the gift of maturity and a new frame of reference.  

Let's be honest -- change is hard sometimes though.  It can push us out of our comfort zone.  For me, I tend to resist shifts in ways that are in contrast to what I've become accustomed to.  Seemingly, the harder I resist, the more persistant the change pursues me.  

Recently, I've had to take a good look at myself and ask "who am I?".  As I have evolved over the years, I can safely say that there are replacements to some old "comfort zone" ideas I've had.  This current version of myself has grown, resisted, regressed, been altered, renewed, and cultivated.  And I'm not done.  

We each are unique in our characteristics, nature, personality, temperament, genetics, and constitution.  To me, one of the most important tid-bits I find to be helpful is to be true to myself.  What does that mean exactly?  It means to know myself, my limits, my views, my abilities, my boundaries, my likes and dislikes, and keep to what I know in my heart is the real me.  Being authentically me is the best gift I can give to others.  We each are made so specifically.  If we hide under the rock of not being like others, then our own light can't shine.

Take a few moments today to ask yourself questions that reveal your own truth.  What do I stand for?  What actions give me the most integrity?  What is so unique about me that others can't replicate it or use it in the way that I can?  How have I evolved into a better understanding of my beliefs -- which convictions speak to my character?  

When we embrace the person we are today, we can find ways to be happier.  Feel proud that you have reconstructed yourself over the years into an improved version of yourself.  And continue to keep yourself open to change.  Begin to really know yourself, starting today, and let others enjoy you for who you are.  When that happens, you will see that you are BEYOND BLESSED!

Perception Problem

Toasty,  Tasty, or Terrible

Perception is a funny thing, isn't it?  What's one person's trash is another person's treasure as they say.   Perception can taint how we feel about all kinds of things.  We develop how we view the world widely by experiences.  But those experiences are so personal that they cannot possible be true across the board.  

Case in point:  My son had three friends over.  They decided to use the toaster for some English muffins.  One friend thought toast sounded better.  His method of toasting was a variation on the usual.  He would put the bread in the slot, set the time once, remove the bread after the timer was up, flip the bread and put it back in the slot, then set the timer once more.  This was his tried-and-true method of "perfect" toast.  My toaster is a current version that toasts on both sides simultaneously.  Never have I needed to flip anything to ensure that both sides got the same, equal treatment.  In fact, my toaster even has a bagel setting which toasts only the inside, exposed part of the bagel.  That's a particular setting for one kind of method and it's not widely used.  I'd say we use the traditional setting much more often.  Yet, never have I used the flip method.  

The friend's toasting concept came from a family member that has always done it this way and passed down her knowledge to the subsequent generations.  This idea had been used with success for generations now.  His knowledge and view on this method had come from personal experience.  

The three friends didn't agree so much with the method nor the outcome.  When polled, three out of four agreed the toast was burnt.  One person cited he had to use his back teeth just to bite through the blackened crust.  Others looked at it and assumed it wouldn't taste good so they wouldn't even try it.  The culinary concoction ended up being shunned most likely out of the perception that the technique wasn't widely used and, therefore, the result would not be the conventional result -- it wouldn't taste good. I took a poll of those involved, me included.  Two of us found it appetizing while three did not.  Majority ruled, the toast was a thumbs down.  Now when I look at this picture (which is the actual toast in question), and I see a delicious looking, quite edible piece of toast.  I think I could have convinced everyone to try it and, I will even venture to guess, they may have liked it.  Persuasion can be a powerful thing.  The toast was eaten by it's maker, so I didn't get to try to convert the opposition.

So it goes with situations and people, too.  By pure notion, we can miss out on so much because we rule it out before we have evidence to backup our feelings or have anecdotal affirmation.  We can declare some toasty (tolerable), tasty (exemplary or satisfactory), or terrible (objectionable or undesirable).  Have you ever deemed something unworthy, not to your liking, invaluable or waste of your time?  Did you decide that because of your own experience, or did you let the influence of someone or something else help make the decision?  Did you ever use intuition because you had a sense about a person or situation?  Did you ever change your mind from your initial judgement?

Let me encourage you to not judge before you have involvement.  Don't miss out on a new person or event because of your past (in)experience.  You might have just stumbled upon something wonderful that will change your perception -- for the better!  Keep working toward the goal of being Beyond Blesssed!

  

Puppy Perspective

Life Made Simpler

It's been a few days since I posted last.  Just when I was thinking my life was pretty laid-back and fairly uneventful, a change was coming and I was just "resting up" as I came to find out.

For many of us, life wouldn't be the same without a pet.  Whether it's big or small, our little animal friends can really add another dimension to our lives.  In our family, we have had dogs nearly our whole married life.  We've had cats and fish, too, but that "season" is over.  A rabbit entered into the mix almost two years ago.  It's cute and soft, even fairly easy to maintain, but, in my humble opinion, it's not quite like a dog.  Dogs add companionship, unparalleled love, and interaction that can be almost better than human.  They listen to your stories, they don't ask questions, and they always have time for you.

This last year, we had to put down our beloved dog, Lucky.  He was a beautiful dog in all ways!  He wanted nothing more than to be near you, to play here and there, walk by your side, and greet everyone as they came into our home.  Just a young puppy when we adopted him from a rescue shelter, he stole our hearts.  His needs were small and basic -- food, bathroom time, playtime, and love -- most of all.  As with all dogs, it's a lifetime commitment for both the animal and owner(s).  It's a building of a special bond and relationship that can't be compared to much else.  Our hearts were filled with so much love from what he gave us.  Then in the end, we each experienced a pain that was unmatched as we had to say goodbye.  He really made me think how simple things were and how it didn't have to be very complicated.  Just love.  That's it.  Just love.

Each member of the family handled it differently.  Some went on seemingly unfazed; others tried to busy themselves to shelter their hearts from the pain of the loss.  Yet others showed and felt the pain palpably.  The latter was me, totally and completely.  Honestly, I was such a wreck after that.  I'm a wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of girl.  I kept telling everyone around me, hoping to convince myself, that I was done with dogs.  Too much heartbreak, too hard to start over.

Apparently, there was another plan that I wasn't aware of.  Months went by and eventually talk of having another dog was a topic of conversation more and more often.  I felt the pain in my heart just at the thought of starting over again, moving on, and allowing myself to fall in love once more.  And, it wasn't so simple.  I kept being reminded of that honest, unimpeded, unrestrained love that Lucky had given to each of us, individually and fully.  How could I tell my heart to not want for that again?  How could I look my children in the eye and deny them of that chance to bond again?  How could I tell my husband not to give this another try and help him heal from the previous loss he quietly felt so deeply?

Need I tell you that through many tears, many smiles, many hopes of finding just the right one, I went on a mission to fill that part of our family again that had been devoid for months.  My pledge to myself was to not get caught up in this, to be honest.  It was going to take a very specific pet to step in and get that spot.  And, the requirements were very specific.  That "you know it's 'the' one" kind of feeling?  That's was I was looking for.

Much to my surprise, there were many contenders.  Well, really, thousands of dogs to sift through, each looking for their forever home.  The stories were emotional and hard to just gloss over.  I prayed that God would help me -- to give me wisdom and discernment, to not be afraid of opening my heart again, to just help in anyway He would.  After trying more than several times and being declined for what seemed to me to be pretty surprisingly pathetic reasons, I was ready to give up.  Then one night, late into the wee hours, I found a litter of the cutest puppies.  After showing my husband, the choice became quite clear.  We were headed toward filling that spot!  Our hearts were tentative, our emotions were raw, our minds were hopeful.

God had "reserved" just the right one for us!  His name is Backes Bear, "Backes" for short.  He's named after David Backes, #42 of the St. Louis Blues hockey organization.  David Backes is a daunting, respected player on the ice.  Off the ice, he is all about the animals and is involved in a local charity, Athletes For Animals.  We felt we'd found a befitting name for our beloved new pet.  Our Backes is a Great Pyrenees/German Shepard mix.  He looks like a fuzzy German Shepard.  He's beautiful!!!  He has such a great disposition and fits just right into our family.  We adopted him Saturday at the age of 8 1/2 weeks.  We couldn't be happier!

Backes really looks at life in a manner worth noting, which is why I've devoted an entire post to him.  With those eyes, he looks for trust.  With the wag of his tail, he evokes joy.  With his playfulness, he brings laughter and fun.  With his heart, he gives all of his love.  And we give all we have to him!

I'm grateful to have Backes to remind me what my head and heart so reluctantly were afraid to experience.  I needed him to show me once again to keep it simple.  Be present, be ready, be available.  And, just love.  Don't make things complicated.  The payoff is a heart full of happiness and joy.  May you be Beyond Blessed!