Define Your Dream

It's No Big Thing...It's Just EVERYTHING!

What if?  Have you ever played that game with yourself?  I know I have...alot.  The would've/should've/could've game, too, right?  Has it helped you move forward, or has it held you back?  

Looking to our past can give us some clarity now that we have gone through it and are on the other side.  It is certainly helpful to see things with 20/20 hindsight.  But that can only take us so far. In fact, it usually doesn't help promote growth.  It usually hinders us by reminding us of our failings or shortcomings.  With that mindset, we tend to shrink back and not pull the trigger to try new things.

I've been on a self-discovery phase for some time now.  While trying to drill down to the essence of who I am and what makes me happy, I've also had to look back -- but only for a short bit of time.  I don't want to get stuck there!  When I found out I was having my second child, we made a family decision for me to quit working outside the home and to stay home to raise our children.  That was a dream of mine, and so I jumped at the opportunity and within a few weeks found myself a new title of "stay at home mom".  The transition wasn't as easy as I'd hoped for.  Quickly, I needed new dreams and goals.  While discovering what those new desires and purposes were, my life starting to unfold.  Through ups and downs, struggles and achievements, my hopes and wishes turned into many new adventures and realities in the years to come.  Getting to be the most integral part of my childrens' lives, keeping a home my husband was proud of, welcoming old and new friends and family while using my gift to entertain came into full swing.  Accomplishing these new ambitions of mine has been very rewarding and humbling.  

Fast forward to today, which is about 14 years from when I left the work world, and I'm finding myself a little lost again.  My kids don't need me in the same ways; in fact, some days they act like they don't need me at all -- much to my chagrin.  I can check off quite a hefty list of accomplishments.  That makes my heart fell very full knowing that I haven't lost the ability to do what I set out to do.  

As I look toward what's ahead, I hear the questions start all over:  What I am to do now?  What skill set have I always relied on to give me satisfaction in my work?  Have I developed a knack for anything new?  Have I honed my abilities over the years giving way to fresh proficiency?  Can I marry any past expertise with my new and future goals?  And the final question which is a BIG one, one that almost everyone has asked themselves:  What is my true calling?  

Here are a few steps that I encourage you to take, as I did, to discover yourself again, and answer some of those nagging questions.  Take the time, now if you can, to sit down and go through this activity.  Look at it like training for your dreams to come true!  Let's get started!

• Define your dream by asking "What would I do if money were no object?".  Don't look at this question as if you already are wealthy and don't need the money, but rather if you didn't get paid, what would you still want to do anyway.
• Write YOUR story.  Be as forthright, honest, transparent, eloquent, descriptive, and kind to yourself as you can possibly be.  List your best attributes and put them down in black and white.  Keep it positive!  This is YOUR time to shine so make you be the best you can through written word.
• Now, reread what you've written.  The whole thing.  I reread mine aloud to myself and that helped me actually 'hear' it not just think it or see it.  That act made it more real to me.  As you reread, tweak, delete, refine, and add, do your best to make it insightful and true to you.  Take careful note of your reaction to what you've written -- did you have a physical or emotional reaction like crying or smiling or feel your heart race with excitement and anticipation?  How did seeing your dreams written out make you feel?
• Leave it alone for a day or so.  Come back to it at a later time and refine once again.  Reflect on this whole experience and all that you have penned.  When you have crafted a vision true to your deepest desire, pin it somewhere for future inspiration.  It will help keep you focused on what's to come.
• Part 2 of this exercise is to now come up with all the things you know to be true but you don't want to admit -- not to your best friend, and maybe not even to yourself.  Ask yourself what you are resisting or hiding from?  It gets real here, people.  Kind of like therapy but better because it's private and it's just you and the paper at this point.
• When you look over that list, ask yourself "Why don't I get to have these things?".  What's holding you back.  Feelings and emotions may seem real, but they are actually self-talk and can be lies of demolition to your dreams and your soul.  Let's expose them and deal with them properly once and for all.  
• Set your intentions and tell someone.  When you do this, it may be an act of faith to trust someone with that personal information, so choose wisely.  They will help keep you in check and hopefully ask about any progress you're making along the way.  You want to be candid and they need to be trustworthy.
• Plan goals to get you toward your dream.  Three major goals per week, set them on Monday.  Tuesday, find three small goals to make you sense accomplishment quickly and boost your self esteem.  Notice when you work best -- what time of day.  Call it your power hours and work during those as much as you can.  You'll find yourself more powerful and accomplished during those times.  At the end of the week, give yourself 20 minutes to reflect -- what worked, what didn't, what got done, what needs tweeking, what should you leave behind and try again?
• Ask for help!  Everyone likes to feel needed.  Remember a time when you were asked for help and how that made you feel.  Let someone else shine in your life and you get the benefit of support.  If it makes you feel vulnerable, realize that you are offering something no one else can in the way you can, and it's not about to get taken from you.  We can draw strength from others and be better for it!
• Say, "Yes!!" to yourself.  Yes, you CAN do this.  Yes, it's going to happen.  Yes, you have support. Yes, yes, yes!  Remember the purpose is for YOU to live YOUR dream.  Use discernment to recall why you're doing this in the first place.  Tune in to the intuition you had about what you wanted to do. 

** Relish that you are aligned with your passion and true calling; contributing something meaningful to the world. **

I wish you a world of opportunities ahead that promote you toward living your dream and being BEYOND BLESSED!

Allowing Yourself to Change

The Gift of Transformation

It's the beginning of another year.  A time when we look back at the past and say "oh well" or keep the regrets front and center of our thoughts.  I prefer the first over the latter -- it's much easier actually.  It's also a time when we look forward with either anticipation of the opportunities ready before us, or we think that the days and year ahead may be the same ol', same ol'.  Different date, same issues.

I'm thinking of how I can change.  Change can be so uncertain.  It can bring about heart palpitations just thinking of the anxiety associated with evolving into something unknown.  When embraced, there is the possibility for improvement and transformation as well.  Changing something in the immediate time frame can be empowering!  See a vision come to pass can inspire you to keep going toward longer-term goals.

My environment is a huge part of how I feel.  The inside of my home being clean and tidy makes me feel prepared to welcome the unexpected guest at the door while giving me and my family a place of comfort and belonging.  The scent of some delectable dish coming out of the oven or fresh from the stovetop makes me feel accomplished that I'm well-able to provide for my family.  Seeing color all around me makes me feel joyous inside.  One of the greatest surprises for me in my current home was seeing the afternoon sun shining through a window and onto a light fixture that has a prism attached to the bottom.  The prism reflect tens of small rainbows all over my ceiling.  When this happens, moreso in the spring and summer, this fascinating experience just adds to my personal happiness.  Rainbows are at the top of my all-time favorites list -- they almost make me giddy!  Color, whether in painted rooms or in spots where there is art hung on the walls or in pops here and there in accessories placed carefully to maximize its affect, really adds to my sense of well-being.  

We have an under-utilized bedroom that I'm very anxious to turn into my creative space.  I've pinned all kinds of ideas.  Already placed in that room is a wood vanity that I've had since I was a child.  To change its use would be not only beneficial in accomplishing my goal of carving out a place for my writing area, but it would give me great joy knowing there was a current use for a piece that's been with me for so long.  Change presents a chance for transformation, in this case, for the vanity and the bedroom.  Even though that creative room is still in progress, I can't tell you how excited it makes me feel to imagine myself sitting at my newly transformed desk, writing or pinning ideas or planning my next adventure.  

That room isn't alone in needing a metamorphosis.  I plan on changing, too, along with that room.  The thought of 'getting' to change is exciting.  The idea that the change can happen to me is thrilling.  Seeing my vision come to fruition -- well, that's the pinnacle for me.  In that room, I can write, read, get inspired, reflect, and come out better than what I went in. 

Are you wanting to make a change in your own life?  It can be overwhelming if you try to accomplish too much at once.  Taking steps toward a goal does not only give you a feeling of accomplishment but of self-confidence.  Just one step at a time gets you closer than what you were moments before you took that leap of faith.  Make a mental or physical list of some changes you would like to see take place in the next week and month and year.  Then pick one that is most-attainable to you now and outline how you'll go from right at this moment to seeing that goal to completion.  

It's all a journey and the road you are traveling will have it's ups and downs.  Give yourself permission to change, allow yourself to have some hiccups along the way, keep focused on the goal, and take on the challenge.  You are fully capable!  Believe in yourself!  Believe others will want that for you, too, and see how they will join in support of your transformation.  At the end, you and I will look back at this and see how far we have come...and remind ourselves we are BEYOND BLESSED!

Perception Problem

Toasty,  Tasty, or Terrible

Perception is a funny thing, isn't it?  What's one person's trash is another person's treasure as they say.   Perception can taint how we feel about all kinds of things.  We develop how we view the world widely by experiences.  But those experiences are so personal that they cannot possible be true across the board.  

Case in point:  My son had three friends over.  They decided to use the toaster for some English muffins.  One friend thought toast sounded better.  His method of toasting was a variation on the usual.  He would put the bread in the slot, set the time once, remove the bread after the timer was up, flip the bread and put it back in the slot, then set the timer once more.  This was his tried-and-true method of "perfect" toast.  My toaster is a current version that toasts on both sides simultaneously.  Never have I needed to flip anything to ensure that both sides got the same, equal treatment.  In fact, my toaster even has a bagel setting which toasts only the inside, exposed part of the bagel.  That's a particular setting for one kind of method and it's not widely used.  I'd say we use the traditional setting much more often.  Yet, never have I used the flip method.  

The friend's toasting concept came from a family member that has always done it this way and passed down her knowledge to the subsequent generations.  This idea had been used with success for generations now.  His knowledge and view on this method had come from personal experience.  

The three friends didn't agree so much with the method nor the outcome.  When polled, three out of four agreed the toast was burnt.  One person cited he had to use his back teeth just to bite through the blackened crust.  Others looked at it and assumed it wouldn't taste good so they wouldn't even try it.  The culinary concoction ended up being shunned most likely out of the perception that the technique wasn't widely used and, therefore, the result would not be the conventional result -- it wouldn't taste good. I took a poll of those involved, me included.  Two of us found it appetizing while three did not.  Majority ruled, the toast was a thumbs down.  Now when I look at this picture (which is the actual toast in question), and I see a delicious looking, quite edible piece of toast.  I think I could have convinced everyone to try it and, I will even venture to guess, they may have liked it.  Persuasion can be a powerful thing.  The toast was eaten by it's maker, so I didn't get to try to convert the opposition.

So it goes with situations and people, too.  By pure notion, we can miss out on so much because we rule it out before we have evidence to backup our feelings or have anecdotal affirmation.  We can declare some toasty (tolerable), tasty (exemplary or satisfactory), or terrible (objectionable or undesirable).  Have you ever deemed something unworthy, not to your liking, invaluable or waste of your time?  Did you decide that because of your own experience, or did you let the influence of someone or something else help make the decision?  Did you ever use intuition because you had a sense about a person or situation?  Did you ever change your mind from your initial judgement?

Let me encourage you to not judge before you have involvement.  Don't miss out on a new person or event because of your past (in)experience.  You might have just stumbled upon something wonderful that will change your perception -- for the better!  Keep working toward the goal of being Beyond Blesssed!