Define Your Dream

It's No Big Thing...It's Just EVERYTHING!

What if?  Have you ever played that game with yourself?  I know I have...alot.  The would've/should've/could've game, too, right?  Has it helped you move forward, or has it held you back?  

Looking to our past can give us some clarity now that we have gone through it and are on the other side.  It is certainly helpful to see things with 20/20 hindsight.  But that can only take us so far. In fact, it usually doesn't help promote growth.  It usually hinders us by reminding us of our failings or shortcomings.  With that mindset, we tend to shrink back and not pull the trigger to try new things.

I've been on a self-discovery phase for some time now.  While trying to drill down to the essence of who I am and what makes me happy, I've also had to look back -- but only for a short bit of time.  I don't want to get stuck there!  When I found out I was having my second child, we made a family decision for me to quit working outside the home and to stay home to raise our children.  That was a dream of mine, and so I jumped at the opportunity and within a few weeks found myself a new title of "stay at home mom".  The transition wasn't as easy as I'd hoped for.  Quickly, I needed new dreams and goals.  While discovering what those new desires and purposes were, my life starting to unfold.  Through ups and downs, struggles and achievements, my hopes and wishes turned into many new adventures and realities in the years to come.  Getting to be the most integral part of my childrens' lives, keeping a home my husband was proud of, welcoming old and new friends and family while using my gift to entertain came into full swing.  Accomplishing these new ambitions of mine has been very rewarding and humbling.  

Fast forward to today, which is about 14 years from when I left the work world, and I'm finding myself a little lost again.  My kids don't need me in the same ways; in fact, some days they act like they don't need me at all -- much to my chagrin.  I can check off quite a hefty list of accomplishments.  That makes my heart fell very full knowing that I haven't lost the ability to do what I set out to do.  

As I look toward what's ahead, I hear the questions start all over:  What I am to do now?  What skill set have I always relied on to give me satisfaction in my work?  Have I developed a knack for anything new?  Have I honed my abilities over the years giving way to fresh proficiency?  Can I marry any past expertise with my new and future goals?  And the final question which is a BIG one, one that almost everyone has asked themselves:  What is my true calling?  

Here are a few steps that I encourage you to take, as I did, to discover yourself again, and answer some of those nagging questions.  Take the time, now if you can, to sit down and go through this activity.  Look at it like training for your dreams to come true!  Let's get started!

• Define your dream by asking "What would I do if money were no object?".  Don't look at this question as if you already are wealthy and don't need the money, but rather if you didn't get paid, what would you still want to do anyway.
• Write YOUR story.  Be as forthright, honest, transparent, eloquent, descriptive, and kind to yourself as you can possibly be.  List your best attributes and put them down in black and white.  Keep it positive!  This is YOUR time to shine so make you be the best you can through written word.
• Now, reread what you've written.  The whole thing.  I reread mine aloud to myself and that helped me actually 'hear' it not just think it or see it.  That act made it more real to me.  As you reread, tweak, delete, refine, and add, do your best to make it insightful and true to you.  Take careful note of your reaction to what you've written -- did you have a physical or emotional reaction like crying or smiling or feel your heart race with excitement and anticipation?  How did seeing your dreams written out make you feel?
• Leave it alone for a day or so.  Come back to it at a later time and refine once again.  Reflect on this whole experience and all that you have penned.  When you have crafted a vision true to your deepest desire, pin it somewhere for future inspiration.  It will help keep you focused on what's to come.
• Part 2 of this exercise is to now come up with all the things you know to be true but you don't want to admit -- not to your best friend, and maybe not even to yourself.  Ask yourself what you are resisting or hiding from?  It gets real here, people.  Kind of like therapy but better because it's private and it's just you and the paper at this point.
• When you look over that list, ask yourself "Why don't I get to have these things?".  What's holding you back.  Feelings and emotions may seem real, but they are actually self-talk and can be lies of demolition to your dreams and your soul.  Let's expose them and deal with them properly once and for all.  
• Set your intentions and tell someone.  When you do this, it may be an act of faith to trust someone with that personal information, so choose wisely.  They will help keep you in check and hopefully ask about any progress you're making along the way.  You want to be candid and they need to be trustworthy.
• Plan goals to get you toward your dream.  Three major goals per week, set them on Monday.  Tuesday, find three small goals to make you sense accomplishment quickly and boost your self esteem.  Notice when you work best -- what time of day.  Call it your power hours and work during those as much as you can.  You'll find yourself more powerful and accomplished during those times.  At the end of the week, give yourself 20 minutes to reflect -- what worked, what didn't, what got done, what needs tweeking, what should you leave behind and try again?
• Ask for help!  Everyone likes to feel needed.  Remember a time when you were asked for help and how that made you feel.  Let someone else shine in your life and you get the benefit of support.  If it makes you feel vulnerable, realize that you are offering something no one else can in the way you can, and it's not about to get taken from you.  We can draw strength from others and be better for it!
• Say, "Yes!!" to yourself.  Yes, you CAN do this.  Yes, it's going to happen.  Yes, you have support. Yes, yes, yes!  Remember the purpose is for YOU to live YOUR dream.  Use discernment to recall why you're doing this in the first place.  Tune in to the intuition you had about what you wanted to do. 

** Relish that you are aligned with your passion and true calling; contributing something meaningful to the world. **

I wish you a world of opportunities ahead that promote you toward living your dream and being BEYOND BLESSED!